Mel White in Singapore

"God might be bored after creating straight peoples that he created queers"

Rev. Dr. Mel White @ Free Community Church talk

[Thank God I am Queer - a Gay Christian's Journey]

May 24,2007, Thursday

7.08pm - I am waiting by the elevator of Yangtze Building at Outram Road near Chinatown. A man stands at an arm length from me and a woman stands adjacent to me. Both look in their 40s. The man is staring blankly into space while the woman is ogling at the sleazy poster of R(A) movies displayed on the wall. Shortly, the elevator descends to the ground floor. As it doors open, I enter and press the 4th floor button. Neither the man nor the woman select a floor.

When the door opens at 4th floor, we are greeted by a row of shops. This is my first visit to the premise to attend a talk by Rev. Dr. Mel White (inset left) on Christians and homosexuality. I have no idea where Free Community Church (FCC) is. The woman enters a beauty parlor and the man walks the other way. Should I follow him? My instinct tells me 'no'. I turn into a corner and pass by a row of sleazy massage salons. I am verbally harassed by a few female masseurs standing outside their shops (White uses the euphemism "a church near a brothel" to speak of FCC's strategic location.) I walk further up and an entrance welcomes me to another world - the Yangtze Cinema, a haven for lecherous old men into softcore movies. On my right, a sign reads 'Free Community Church'. Phew!

7.16pm - FCC has a very humble entrance. At the reception, I take a phamplet on the church and two booklets titled [My Journey toward Affirming the Gay Community- by Rev Dr Yap Kim Hao] and [The Bible & Homosexuality - by Rev Mona West] - both printed by Safehaven, a ministry of FCC, and make my way down to the 2nd row of chairs. From my back, I hear White introducing himself to two women. I turn around to meet this respected, 67-years old gay rights activist. The lanky, bespectacled man wears a beige, short sleeve shirt and a long white pant. Shortly, he walks to my seat. I stand up to greet him. We chat a little before he moves gracefully to welcome the oncoming people. A few fashionably dressed executives and musclebound men sashay across my eyes - a rare sight in churches.

7.28pm - a Hugo-Boss model lookalike host announces that the talk will begin at 7.45pm to accomodate the late comers. (I am told later that he was expelled from a reputable Singapore church because of his sexual orientation.)

7.45pm - The hall is seated with more than 60 men and women in their early 20s to 50s who are eager to listen to White's gay journey. The host introduces him officially to the audience and leaves the stage after an exchange of hug.

"It's good to be introduced because you get a hug".

White's opening line carries a homosexual innuendo but makes everyone laughs. Tonight is an evangelism not for the conservatives and the fundamentalists, but for gay Christians who are torn between the Bible and homosexuality. White shares true stories of young, gay American Christians who committed suicides under the torment of sexuality. To all gay Christians, he says: "homosexuality is a gift from God".

Doctrinated by conservative Christian teachings in his younger days, White believed that a Demon inside him made him gay. He embarked on a electroconvulsive therapy and exorcism to treat his 'disease'. He recalls that he was shown photographs of men and women and each time he saw a man, he had to shock himself. The treatment didn't work because he developed a crush on his therapist. Devastated that his homosexuality was incurable, he cut his wrist. His attempted suicide effected an amicable divorce with his wife. Today, he is in a 23-years relationship with his partner, Gary Nixon, of whom he co-founded the gay rights organization - soulforce. White's friend - a lecturer at a local instituition also shares his coming out story. His Laos boyfriend of 3-years is beside him as he speaks.

8.45pm - the finale is a Question & Answer session. Several questions on gay promiscuity, masturbation, monogamous vs open relationship are raised. White discusses them with personal examples. I am against stereotyping of gay men being promiscuous and this is a chance to be heard. I raise my hand. When White sees me, he says "oh cute". I hear laughters from every corner. Two guys who sit in front of me turn around to look. I blush. White invites me to stand and speak. I don't like being watch from my back and so I walk up to the front to deliver my views. I am happy to win several approving nods from the audience.

9.05pm - The talk ends with a prayer by White.

''Thank God I am queer".

(left: Young Mel White)

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My notes:

Scientifically, homosexuality is no longer a mental disorder and hence requires no cure. The American Psychiatric Association removed it from its list of personality disorders in 1973. Religiously and socially, homosexuality remains an unspeakable sin and an immorality. Regardless if the Bible's views on homosexuality have been misinterpreted or indeed God created queers, pretending to be who we are not and fighting against who we really are, is a self-destructive effort. Is Ted Haggard really straight now after 3 intensive week of counselling? I doubt so.