Encouragement from my hairdresser

I had a haircut today to prepare myself for a new job. Did I say a new job? Yes. If you have read my past blog entries, you would know how I became jobless. Anyway, I will be working permanent part time for an international organisation next Monday. I will start a Briget Jones's Diary alike (but no romance; it's strictly about my new job). Until then, let me bring you back to the hair salon at Orchard Road.

To give you a little background, my hairdresser is my ex-hairdresser's hairdresser (the use of repetitive words here is deliberate). My ex-hairdresser changed salons so often that one day, I told him that I couldn't follow him to Jurong, the extreme end from where I stay. I asked him to recommend a good hairdresser and the rest were history. I have been with my current hairdresser for more than a year. Although she is as mobile as my ex-hairdresser, she always moves around the salons in Orchard Road.

My appointment with her for the hair cut was 1 p.m. Naturally, when she saw me she asked if I was on leave. I told her before that I had quit my job months ago but I don't expect her to remember something which doesn't concern her at all. Afterall, I am not her only customer. I refreshed her memory and told her about my new job and hence the haircut.

She remembered what my previous job was and was amazed at the drastic change. To avoid repeating my case (which I suggest that you read 'My Pursuit of Happiness'), my decision was unsupported by most friends. Suprisingly, a 40-year old married woman with kids and a hairdresser whom I only meet once every 2 months could see where I was coming from. Adjectives like 'crazy', 'impractical' (most commonly heard), 'idealistic' and 'brave' were tagged to my decisions but none could truly understand what I did except her. I knew she was not saying nice things to please my ears just because I am her customer. This was not the first time she cut my hair - I know her way of thoughts.

When will I bump into another person who shares the same ideology of life as me? Probably, I should just plug to my iPod and listen to 'One in a Million' by the one hit singer, Bosson.

I just answered myself.

The Pursuit of Happiness

I left a well paid job in 2005 without a job because I was unhappy working in the company. I took that opportunity to search for jobs in Toronto and the US so that I could be closer to my American boyfriend. At the same time, I went to work for a law firm on a month contract which I did not renew. Obviously, I wasn't happy working in that company either. There was also no positive response from overseas. I was out of job again. My ex-boss came to know that I quit because the lawyer that I worked for was our company's solicitor. She offered me a temporary position to assist her for the busy month. I agreed and was stucked for a year. I hated myself for returning to a job that I had no passion for. I quit for good after 10 months without a job again. Within a year, I resigned 3 times.

I had worked with that company for 6 years and more than a decade in the entertainment related industry. I grew sick of it since 2004. I wanted to do something different. In other word, I had to start from scratch. But I was unsured what I wanted to do and in what industry. I survived 5 months freelancing as a web and e-card designer. I sent out more than 30 resumes but only 2 called me up for interviews. Both were unsuccessfull. My potential employers were not convinced that I could make a successfull transition to a new industry. However, finally one employer called me up for an interview and I got the job. I thought I would fit but being gay doesn't mean that I would be happy working in a gay environment. After 2 months, I quit. My fourth resignation.

I quit all the jobs because I was unhappy working at those companies. No matter how much I was paid, I was still unhappy. No matter how others envied my job, I was still unhappy. In my pursuit of a happy job, I was hinted that I could be on the verge to depression - because I was job hopping and hence inferred that my mental state was unstable. All I wanted was a job that I would enjoy going to work everyday. As long as I could still support my parents and myself, I was prepared to forgo a pay that commensurated with my qualification and experiences. But again, no employer would be convinced of my pursuit of happiness and not money. Most employers simply saw me as a desperate job seeker who was just seeking a temporary shelter. They were not to blame for their judgement because even friends thought I was crazy to compromise pay for a self-illusioned happiness. To them, no job could be absolutely happy. I agreed that it would take sheer luck to bump into a happy job but I was not giving up.

The truth is I had found my direction since the beginning of 2007 - that is to become a professional writer. In fact, the interest in writing had always stayed with me since I was a student. I first completed a 100 pages fantasy story when I was in primary school. It was co-written with a classmate but he gave up after 2 chapters. I continued to write short stories in my secondary school. When I was working, I contributed to the newspapers and magazines. I was happy that some were published. I attempted to write an autobiography when I was in my early 20s. I even sought a London's publisher to get my story published. The story was completed but I gave up the idea of getting it published. I felt there was nothing for the readers to learn from my story. When blogging was introduced, I also joined the bandwagon. Over the years, I deleted a few blogs that I started; this blog e-zine you are reading now endures.

I am very determined to become a professional writer for magazines, websites and newspapers. Eventually, I want to be a novelist. I am trying hard to market my writings in different writers' portals. One day, I hope publishers in different parts of the world will engage me to write for their publications full time or freelance. I will be nuts If I were to wait for that chance without finding a job to support my dream.

I watched 'The Pursuit of Happyness" yesterday and I am very inspired. My life is not as hard as Chris Gardner. At least, I have a roof above me and I don't have a kid that I have to worry for. However, we do have the same determination in getting that job. As much as he wanted to be a broker, I want to be a writer. I want to see my articles in local and overseas publications. I want my books to be published in overseas and sold in every part of the world. I want to dedicate my first book to my boyfriend, the second to my friends and the third to myself. Then I want to write my fourth book, fifth book, sixth book and so on.

I watch 'Cover Girl' by Rita Hayworth and Gene Kelly today. I love what Gene said: "easy get, easy lose." I am still far from my writing dream. I will continue to write until someone drop me an email to say "hey, I like your writing. Can you write for us?"

Am I crazy for my dream? I bet some people will pour wet blanket on me because being an author in Singapore will 'eat grasses', a colloquial to mean having not enough to eat. All I care is writing makes me happy. I believe my American Dream will come true one day.