My First Christmas in Sydney - Alone

It's the night of Christmas Eve.

Every year at this time, I am at home with my family in Singapore. Dad will put up our Christmas tree two weeks before Christmas. This year, I don't think he does. I am the spirit of the family and the reason for the decoration. I let them down this year because I have selfishily flown to Sydney two weeks ago to start a relationship with my Aussie boyfriend (with their blessing). Mum called to wish me Merry Christmas but I didn't ask about the Christmas tree.

Do I feel homesick? Yes but not too strongly. Sydney is my second home now. However, I do feel a bit sad this holiday season. My boyfriend is not with me tonight and many nights to come. He has flown to Perth to be with his family. I learn that such tradition is the western thing. My U.S. and Candanian friends are all going home for Christmas. That's probably why the song 'I'll be Home for Christmas" is written. After Christmas with family, he will be away on a business trip. All in all, I am left alone in a big house for two long weeks. I am going to miss my boyfriend very much.

I have a friend in Sydney but she will be spending Christmas with her family from Indonesia. Luckily, I am blessed with great friends around the world who chat with me on MSN. Because of the time difference, when one friend log outs, the chat is continued by another who logs in. When everyone logs out, I return to my writing like now (Sydney time, 11:56pm) with my iTune radio playing a Christmas song I never heard of in Singapore - I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas by Gayla Peevey

Well, I am not exactly being left in a lurch by my boyfriend. He is too sweet for negligence. He bought me some thoughtful gifts. Among which are two latest novels by best-selling Australian authors, "The Persimmon Tree" by Bryce Courtenay and "Anthony and Cleopatra" by Colleen McCullough. But he didn't want me to be cooped up at home all days reading while he is away. He suprised me with gift cards so that I could go shopping when I am bored. His thoughtfullness and generousity made me shed tears of joy.

So far I am suriving happily since his 3 days absence. Although there are books to read and shopping to induge in during the Boxing Day and New Year sale, nothing replaces having my boyfriend next to me now. I will be waiting patiently at home in Sydney for his return. Meanwhile, it's time for bed on a silent and holy night.

iPond - A Bad Chirstmas Gift

That is not a typo in my title - it is iPond, the latest innovation from Pet-Riffic, a company from Missouri, U.S. The tiny fish tank cum music speaker which can be attached to iPod is sold at Pets Paradise and Pet Goods Direct chain of shops in Australia.




Priced at AUZ$70, sales of iPond have been briskly since it was launched in the market in September. The 'torture-box' (to the fish) is a popular gift idea for Christmas but an outrage to the animal activists and aquarists. Measured at 152 mm in height, 88 mm across and 77 mm deep, it doesn't take rocket science to foresee the unhealty living condition of the fish in that claustrophobic space. The fish trapped in the iPond sold are Siamese Fighting Fish (Betta Splendens). The minimum tank size for such a breed to live heathily is 3 gallon (11 litres). The iPond's tank water capacity is, however, at an approximate 0.17 gallon once rocks are set in. Imagine you are limited to the space of a tiolet cubicle size to stay, will you be happy and healthy? The fish are not different. In fact, there are more consideration for the fish imprisoned in the iPond.

The Siamese fighting fish is a tropical breed that live in puddles and rice paddies. The iPond is just ridiculousy small for them in every aspect of their survival. The size of iPond is just too small:

• for it to receive adquate oxygen;
• for the fish to move;
• for it to be filled with enough water to prevent rapid temperature change

The spokeperson for the Pets Paradise andPet Goods Direct chains claimed that they consulted the Pet Industry Association of Australia before selling iPond. Apple has no comments on iPond since it is an iPod accessory manufactured by third party.

Bananation condemns iPond as an invention that does not consider the wellbeing of a fish. It is purely a fad to rip commerical interest out of curious consumers especially during this holiday season. If I were to receive an iPond for Christmas gift, I won't be merry. Fish swim. Look at the iPond. The poor fish can barely escape to a quiet corner when music is blasted from the ipod because there is no room! This is the only moment when a fighting fish loses its fighting spirit. I am not joking here.

Due to negative meda attention, Pets Paradise has removed iPond from their shelves on a wait-and-see attitude. Meanwhile, you can join the petition to ban iPond.

Bobby Blake - Exclusive Interview

The Star who shines in the Realm of Porn is now shining in a new Kingdom. Bananation speaks to Bobby Blake about his porn career, God and his new book, My Life In Porn.

Bananation: You are an African-American gay video superstar. What made you retired from the industry 7 years ago at the height of your career?

Bobby Blake: I have always had the mentality that I would quit at the peak, and having made sixty films over 3 years, I felt I had taken Bobby Blake persona as far as it could go. I had express what I needed to, and shown what I needed to show. So I wanted to move on with my life and do other things

In your interview with Herndon Davis, you mentioned that "your relationship with God' is personal. What can you say to gay Christians who are struggling between faith and identity?

I don't tell people how they should reconcile their faith and their sexuality: that has to be between them and God. But what I do tell them is that they need to have a personal relationship with God. Don't allow what others say come between you and God.

In the same interview, you also said that God put you in gay porn for a reason. Being a preacher before rising to porn stardom, how do you balance between Gods' words and fucking men in front of camera?

I never said God put me in porn for a reason ..God never put me in porn ! I said things happen for a reason and I now understand now why I took the route I took. I don't try and wrong the right or right the wrong. For me being in porn has led to me being contacted by many men and women struggling with their sexuality. I have been able to help thousands of men and to get that feedback saying ..you help me be honest with self.

You entered the porn business after your visit to an adult bookstore at age 14 or 15. You said, "I want to try this one day". What are your advices to budding porn actors who want to bring their fantasies to life?

Porn is not easy to do. You need to be a very particular type of person to do it. You need to know who you are, and you need to know what you're prepared to do. Many people in the adult industry are damaged people who end up getting more damaged through their involvement with it - drugs and alcohol abuse are unfortunately common in porn. I had worked as an exotic dancer for years before I did films so I knew what was comfortable with and how I was prepared to be seen by others. I today push the fact go to school get a degree ..for the mind is powerful ..become your own boss..business owner.

Your book, My Life In Porn - The Bobby Blake Story will be out May, 2008. How do you handle the unhappy memories as you are writing the book?

The challenge was to be honest-because I wanted to explain how I came to be the man I am as fully as possible - but at the same time not hurt any of those near and dear to me . The tough times are what show you what your qualities are.

What lessons in life can readers expect to learn from your book?

To be true to yourself and honest with yourself. To conduct yourself in a way that you get respect..whatever your race or sexuality or your position in life. The need to have a strong relationship with God on a personal level. That life struggles can work for the good in your life if you process them in the right way. How to stand firm on your beliefs while in a relationship that challenges everything you stand for.

You do not favor gay marriages because ceremonies and rings are only symbolic to you. Instead, you value what is in the heart. Hmm, does that mean Bobby Blake is the man who looks beyond appearance, races, nationality and wealth in a partner?

Yes I have had lovers of all different races and nationalities and levels of income..most of all I value integrity,fitness and honesty. I look at the heart of the man or woman for what's in one heart is what he or she is all about. You have to stand for something and know what that something it..have goals in life and over a period of time some of those goals should be met.

You emphasized a lot about getting a good education in your interview with Herdon Davis. You have a degree in Business and correct me if I'm wrong, you are pursuing a degree in criminal justice. Tell us truly if the lacks of education has pushed people to do porn for quick bucks?

I am now working on a Master degree in criminal justice after done with it..I will moved on and work on a Dr-degree in criminal justice. There are a lot of people who are in the porn business who have degrees..they have just chose to take a different route. There is a lot of money in the porn business just have to know what you are doing and stand for something in doing what you do.

Can you imagine working in a 9-to-5 office job with shirt and tie if you have not entered adult entertainment industry?

Yes I have work a 9-5 and still do ...just do a lot of my work from home..when done with all the schooling I want to teach on a college level in the field of criminal justice. I am no different from anyone else I can do what ever it takes to make my life a happy one.

Like Colton Ford who has released a CD, you will be releasing a single, 'Bootie Aint' Got no Face.". Tell us what this song is about.

Gay New York rapper Trudog invited me to do a guest rap on his single..My first time in the studio was kind of nerve-wracking, but Trudog put me at my ease and I was proud of the result

Now that you are back to ministry services, I'm sure that many in the Church recognise you. With your porn career history, do you have any indecent proposal from men/woman while at the Church?

I have people trying to come on to me both men and women but I quickly put them in their place. I don't play in God house . There is a place and time for all things and the house of God is not a place for such. I enjoy my walk with God it has allow me to reach out to thousands who wanted to die and not live but today ..they love themselves and one has to love self before he can love anyone else.

Have you been to Singapore?

I have never been to Singapore.

How much do you know about the gay scene here?

I knew that gay sex was illegal there.

Gay porn superstars are returning to their faith, like Tom Katt and yourself. Do you foresee more big names going back to the arms of God?

I am sure some will rediscover or reaffirm their faith. My Faith never left me it was always there ..just waiting on me to return to home base. Its is because of my faith I am able to stand now ..and reach out to millions all over this world.

To learn more about Bobby and his new book, visit http://www.bobbyblake.net/

The Dame of the Parliament - Eunice Olsen

Eunice Olsen

When I received this eMailer, I was seduced more by the model than the phone. She took center stage of the advertisement. Instinctively, I see her first than the phone in term of prominence. Is this a marketing flop then? I don't think so. She is as chic as the new MotoroRazer V8 luxury edition looks. Her sultry glance tempted me like the sinister snake in the Garden of Eden. In fact, too intimidating for a gay man to bear. If you ogle, I mean admire at the advertisment longer, you could probably see some resemblances in her to Thai pop diva, Tata Young and Hollywood starlet, Angelina Jolie.

To my overseas readers, you probably think that she is just another celebrity in Singapore. In a way, she is. She is a model, actress, TV host and a musician. But she is more. Eunice Olsen, as grandiose as her name sounds to her portfolio, is also a non-elected Member of Parliament (NMP) of the Republic of Singapore. If you google her, she wears many faces in public: the plain jane next door, the NMP in power suit and the glamourous girl in the limelight.

I have never followed her news since her foray into public attention after bagging the title of Miss Singapore Universe in 2000. Over the years, she has used her fame for good cause to promote volunteerism and humanitarian works. Is she an opportunist? Sure she is. But that's how I perceive a modern woman to be. She not only colorizes her life with her resume, she only injects some refreshing vibes to our Parliament. Way to go, girl!

To Sydney with Love Fund

This is going to look silly to many but it is a hope to me.

I'm just a guy, standing in front of a man, asking him to love him. A simple request but it never came through for the past seven years. My three-year long distance love with an American ended this year. I suggested that I moved to the U.S. twice but he never embraced the idea.

Separation does not help in building relationship. I learned my lesson painfully. A sweet Australian man entered my life recently. With his consent, I will be flying over to Sydney and to be with him for as long as I could.

This is not a holiday -it's about pursuing a chance to be loved or to love. I haven't found a job there yet. I'm sure he would help me in whatever he could but I would like to do my part.

"To Sydney with Love" Fund is an idea to help my transition in Sydney smoother while finding a job. I won't ask your support for nothing. Purchase a Christmas e-card at USD3.



Click on card to enlarge. To send the ecard, simply right click, save as .jpg, and attach to your email.

If you wish to pay through PayPal via email, simply send your email address to luvwinsall@hotmail.com and an invoice will be generated for your payment. You will receive an email from me. Click the link on the email to make your payment.

If you do not wish to buy a customised e-card from me, I welcome you to send the e-card to your friends. After all, Christmas is a season for sharing love.

Merry Christmas, Sydney

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Torn between Two Nations - My Love Story that inspires To Sydney with Love.

If you know of any job opportunity in Sydney, email me at luvwinsall@hotmail.com

Torn Between Two Nations - My Love Story.

Torn Between Two Nations - My Love Story


I am a GAM (Gay Asian Male) from Singapore who has fallen in love with a GWM (Gay White Male) from the United States.

I am 34 and he is 49. In spite of our significant age difference, our relationship is not what most people would perceive it to be. I truly love him just the way he is. There isn't a day that I have stopped loving him. It is a relationship that sustains the longest test of time, albeit a long distance love. I painted a beautiful picture of us watching the sunset together at Houston, Texas one day when we both grow old. I will be sitting close to his frail body and holding on to his arm. The tattoo on that arm - R.E.D, which is the acronym of his name will be as wrinkled and dull as his skin. But that day will never come. We broke up in September 2007. We didn't break up because we didn't love each other anymore. We didn't break up because of third party. We broke up because I am a Singaporean and he is an American. We broke up because of our difference in nationality. We broke up because of the distance between us we cannot bridge. The immigration law in our country owes us big time.

Singapore is a highly conservative country. Every gay man as far as Europe and the U.S. knows that there is no hope for homosexuals in Singapore. The recent repeal 377A campaign that failed speaks much of our legislation and our people.To my dismay, there is no hope for me either in the Land of Freedom. I blame myself for not finding out more about immigration law and the right of same sex marriage in the U.S. I only learned about them when my boyfriend told me that our relationship was not going to work becasue the United States neither allows their citizens to sponsor their same sex partners for immigration benefits nor recognizes same sex marriage for immigration purposes. Although there are other options to legalise my stay in the U.S., they ain't helpful to me. With a Diploma and a resume of an executive, no employer in the U.S. would sponsor me without a professional practice. Obtaining a student visa may be viable but education in the U.S. is expensive. Seeking asylum will not work because the Singapore Government does not prosecute gay relationship or gay as an individual. Winning diversity visa lottery is a one million chance that won't salvage my relationship. Out of desperation, I considered a fraudulent marriage with the opposite sex in exchange for my green card. But I gave the idea up. It will be a silly move. I might be able to stay in the U.S. but probably behind bar awaiting deportation. Regrettably, same-sex marriage is not even a way out. Under the Canadian options, my boyfriend and I may be granted permanent residency. In other word, he would have to choose between me or his family, friends and career in the U.S. I am prepared to give up mine but I do not expect the same from him. Love is unconditional: I want to be with him and I am prepared to sacrifice. But I have no chance at all.

For most of us - gays or lebsians - who have formed long distance relationships with Americans, same-sex marriage is our only hope to remain in the United States. Denying us the right that binational heterosexual married couples enjoyed is unjust. Marriage is a union of two persons who are ready to commit in a life-long partnership regardless of genders. If the right accorded to binational matrimony is recognised, why is it overlooked between binational homosexual married couples? Shouldn't marriage be based on love, and love is universal across races and nationalities? Just look at how Americans are helping the poor in the third-world countries. How about applying the same concept of compassion to binational same-sex couples before breaking us up? Where is the love? The Black Eyed Peas questioned that in the same titled song, 'Where is the Love' . If love between two persons is governed by religion, and religion in turn becomes a political tool for the Federal Government, then withholding the right of same-sex marriages is a decision made without any consideration of humanity. The U.S. Immigration law discriminates against same-sex union in defense of American traditional family values. Consider the Republicans who advocate such values but among them, there are hypocrites who engage in same-sex affairs. How right can these self-proclaimed moral police be justified in sealing the fates of binational homosexual couples? Banning same-sex partner of an American citizen from staying in the United States is an act of cruelty to human race. Tearing binational couples apart undermines our diplomatic understanding for the country.

Falling in love with a foreigner is more than about the person; it is also about knowing the country where we come from. The homepage of my IE browser is set to Yahoo! U.S. and not Yahoo! Singapore. The reason is obvious : I want to know what's happening in the U.S. I love my boyfriend and the country he lives in. I want to be attuned to the American way of life, hoping that one day I will be a part of it. I want to contribute to U.S. economy, of which, I can enjoy with my boyfriend and fellow American friends. Sadly, the Federal Government overlooks the economic value subsisting in same-sex marriages. Breaking up binational same-sex couples forces their very own people to leave the country, thus migrating their skills to competing countries. I wonder if the government has read about the pink economy identified by Richard Florida. Driving talents away from the United States is not driving up its GDP. The voices of the United States seem to say, "leave American gays alone. Go and date gays from the 16 nations that allow their citizens to sponsor their same sex partners for immigration benefits."

My 3-year long distance relationship was broken up because our future is bleak. He couldn't find a job in Singapore and neither could I find one in the United States. I admit that we haven't done enough to salvage our relationship but there is only so much we could do. If the same right enjoyed by straight binational married couples is extended to us, he would have already married me. My wound is still fresh as I am writing this.


Everyday, there are same-sex couples from various countries breaking up with their American partners because of the anti-gay immigration law. I found hope in Immigration Equality, a national organization that works to push the Uniting American Families Act (UAFA). I urge that the UAFA be passed on the ground of human rights. The torment of binational same-sex couples ought to end. Whether or not the UAFA becomes law, do not give up your American partner. True love never surrenders only if we try.

We shouldn't let policy dictates who we love. That's the responsbility of our heart.

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Men who behave intimately with Men but call themselves Straight. What's your Take?

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The Traffic Signal

A clear beacon of our increasingly motorized society is the humble traffic light or traffic control signal. It has spread across our cities silently but pervasively and now stands on most major roads that do not have the "freeway" classification (might be motorway or expressway in your jurisdiction and but anyway it is seldom free).

Let me tell you a little about traffic lights. Physically they are the visible part of a computer based system which has been pre-programmed to respond in particular ways to electronic signals received. As a road user we see the response as a red or green or other type of signal to which we are expected to act in a certain way. The programming is all done prior to you arriving at a traffic light intersection. This is the first and most important thing to understand. You can shout, tap your fingers, cuss or just feel high levels of frustration but these will not change the program; they may, however, relieve some tension and give you a sense of relief as you wait for the go command (or green light).

The signals received by the computer can be generated by a vehicle detection and/or monitoring device, by someone pushing a pedestrian button or maybe from a clock which triggers a set pattern of red/green/warning signals for a set period of the day. As a result of these signals, a pre-determined response will be triggered in the computer and the signals will reflect that response. There are many permutations but remember the computer has no eyes and hence it will always go through the particular sequences programmed. Typically if the light is to change then it will allow a clearance phase (usually an amber signal) before responding to the signal (from a motorist point of view it is a request) to change to a green signal. These onset of the clearance phases can be delayed in starting by such things as high priority roads (eg off ramps from Freeways), crossing times for pedestrians (based on an average or slower walking speed) or the linkage of computers operating at several intersections.

The computer system may control an isolated intersection, a series of intersections or an entire network and is programmed to maximize traffic efficiency without compromising safety. This programming is done by highly skilled persons to well established guidelines and in compliance with the prevailing traffic law. For instance it is poor programming to have a pedestrian crossing phase following the highest speed movement at the intersection because potentially there are more vehicles coming through the signals late and the drivers have less time to react because of the higher speed or clearance times are adjusted to match the approach speed, that is longer clearance times for higher speeds.

I provide this basic outline of a traffic signal to increase people’s understanding as a means of reducing the visible frustration and annoyance seen at traffic signals. There are some basic things to remember at traffic signals:

1. They cannot see and hence no finger signs or waving of fists has any effect on how long you wait. For instance the computer does not know that the vehicle who was detected approaching the signal on road A did in fact go through the red light and is no longer there so there will be a green light response for that vehicle.
2. The signals received are recorded and entered into the system for analysis against pre-programmed responses. Creeping over the white line does not get you a quicker green light only angry looks from pedestrians as you steal their space. In fact the detectors that identify to the system a vehicle has arrived are usually set back from the white line.
3. The red light camera does not lie. The detection equipment for these cameras is located usually 1metre or more past the white line.
4. Pedestrian and cyclists do have to obey the signals given. Real life observations may cause you to doubt it but it is the law.

So when you are next stopped at a traffic signal just accept that this a computer generated response to information received and while the information maybe faulty the computer is just responding in a pre-programmed manner. So relax and enjoy the beautiful things the world has to offer and arrive at your destination not only safely but feeling great.

Contributed by maipenrai, Sydney

Also by maipenrai:

• Expectations Fuel Disappointment

Does Age has a part to play in True Love?

Most people are sceptical towards young people dating old folks.

I used to form a smiliar skepticism. I was cynical when hot babes proclaiming true love to men decades older than them. Likewise from a gay's perspective, I couldn't see how an Adonis could fancy an old man. Now, I am part of the skepticism that others imposed on me.

In a relationship of which a partner is significantly older than the other, the older chap is coined as the suger daddy and the young sucker is lambasted as gold digger. This is so because the distribution of wealth is always imbalance in such a combination. Unless you are Larry Page and she is Britney Spears, an older partner will accumulae more wealth than his/her younger lover by the law of nature. I don't mean a millionaire and an average income earner. This sounds more like a modern day Cinderalla story. How many of us date a millionaire anyway? But financial dependence will always be perceived to fall on the older lover. Compare a 30-year old guy and his high school sweetheart. Bingo! I don't think I need to elaborate my point further.

Take a look at these couples. What's your first impression about their younger partners.

Rupert Murdoch, 70 & Wendi Deng Murdoch, 39
Age difference: 31

James Howard Marshall II, 89 & Anna Nicole Smith, 26 (Their age as of the year of dating before death)
Age difference : 63



Elton John, 60 & Partner, David Furnish, 45
Age Difference: 15



Demi Moore, 45 & Ashton Kutcher, 29
Age difference: 16

Britney Spears, 26 & Kevin Federline, 29
Age Difference: 3

There are gold diggers in every country. Suckers are prepared to trade in their youth and body for money and power. I don't mean to be disrespectful to the dead, but Anna Nicole Smith's court battle over James Howard Marshall II's will after his death speaks unmistakably of her motive marrying a man 63 years her senior. When it comes to money talk, partners from the less extraordinary league are usually under scrutiny. Everyone heard the cash ringing in Kevin Federline's register when the former backup dancer and singer married pop princess, Britney Spears. The Briteny-Kevin's case seems to be more than the case of compatibility in age, but also the ranking of wealth and social status. If young couples are not spared the judgement, how more difficult it is to believe that true love can exist when one partner is unreasonably old and ridiculously rich? Would Wendy Deng bear Rupert Murdock two kids if not for the inheritance that she would benefit from consummation of her marriage? Maybe yes, maybe not; only she knows. I am dating a 57-year old man now. Whether I like it or not, people are going to judge me when we are together. Likewise, I judge others when they have older partners. I firmly believe that my sweet Mr P can tell that I am not a heartbreaker.

When the age gap in a relationship gets wider, the issue of money, sex and level of understanding become a greater concern. I shall not repeat my views on money; conduct speaks for itself. Let's talk about sex then. A healthy loving relationship requires a healthy sexual relationship, but sex should not beget love and become a determinant for the success or failure of a relationship. There are other priorities in life which carry more substance than sex, such as building a loving relationship based on communications and other social activities. Unless we are dating an object, all humans are capable of showing affection through physical intimacy. But the frequency and intensity of the intimacy will very much depend on how high your sex drive is. If you are a horny pig, don't lie to yourself that your older partner would be able to sextify you. The truth is he ain't going to be your top-notch sex machine not without a little help of Viagra.

When you take away the money and sex issues, the subject of understanding is itself subjective. How much a young partner chooses to understand the world of his older partner very much depends on the individual. It is a lesson of life that does not come with formulas but simply acquired out of love.

It is disheartening to learn of young gay men calling older men unwanted. I defend strongly against that. Gay men who think in such shallow ways are blinded by young, tight bodies to even see beyond the fine layer of wonderful qualities that only come with age. Don't they put themselves in their shoes when they grow old? Do they want to feel unwanted or be given such label? Mind you, old men are not as lousy as others thought them to be. Don't think too highly of ourselves just because youth is on our side - don't forget that it is slipping by the days. OIder men have rich life experiences to share and mellow characters that display tender, love and care in the ways that younger men lack.

With Mr P, I feel that I am facing the calm blue sea on a breezy afternoon. His smiles are the sunshine that light up my day, and his stalwart presence is like a shelter under a big tree. If you think I am talking craps, wait till you meet an older man who sweeps your heart away.

Oh, money boys can forget about my preposition because older men are just various bank accounts to you.

Taxi Touting in Singapore. Tourists Beware

It is my civil duty to educate foreign readers on the increased cases of taxi toutings in Singapore. I have never met an unethical cabby before and hence, I was fuming mad at the article, "Money talks, so cabbies keep touting" (ST, 21 Oct). Atlhough there are female cabbies on the roads nowaday, the cabbies whom The Sunday Times exposed are all males.

I never have the luck to meet these rouge cabbies, or else I will not hesitate to lecture them before reporting to the Land Transport Authority (LTA). They wouldn't target me primarily because I don't look like a tourist to them. I assure you these cabbies can tell whether you can be conned or not. After all, they are the bua-ya* on four wheels driving around (not everywhere) to prey on tourists or vulnerable passengers such as the drunkened. Notice that I deliberately bracket 'not everywhere' because they only drive to pick up areas that are lucrative. This is, however, not the issue that pissed me off. As long as they charge fair prices to passengers, they are free to choose where they wanna be.

It was reported that one cabby charged the Sunday Times team SGD25 to go from Clarke Quay to HarbourFront, a SGD6 trip normally. Some crafty cabbies were unrepentant and boasted that they could easily charge ignorant tourists between SGD50 to SGD100 per trip. SHAME ON THEM! By quoting a flat rate and not by the meter, cabbies are able to recover their taxi rentals and diesel costs for the day in fewer trips i.e. they can now take home a fatter monthly earning. Good for them. But having more money by ripping off tourists is both unprofessional and harmful to the image of Singapore.

I had encountered taxi toutings in Johor Bahru (JB), Bangkok and even at Heathrow Airport, London. I remember the incident at JB when a cabby quoted me an exorbitant fare. I board the cab nevertheless as I was trapped in a heavy downpour without an umbrella. I did not return to JB again. Although taxi toutings are common in most countries, including HongKong, Taipei, China and New York, such occurrences in Singapore are shocking to me. Cabbies caught touting or overcharging in Singapore can be fined up to SGD500 and suspended, or terminated if they get enough demerit points. How could a generally law-abiding population flaunts the laws in a country where citizens are tammed to just follow laws? The flag-down fare was increased by SGD0.10 to SGD2.50 (inclusive of 1st km or less) in July 2006. Many grumbled about the fare hike but I still see long queues at taxi stands. So are cabbies just greedy or the crowded taxi stands were illusions?

Policing by the LTA inspectors alone will not curb touting activities because the veteran cabbies will play hide-and-seek with them. LTA can consider the following suggestions:

• Educate family members of cabbies on ethical driving through Taxi Operators' Association;


• Increase awareness of taxi toutings to tourists at the airports and tourist information counters;


• Terminate licences of cabbies guilty of touting and barred them from driving for other taxi companies

With the above measures in place, the co-operation of the passengers can then facilitate the effectiveness of stamping down on taxi touting in Singapore. As a rule of thumb, report all toutings to LTA. As a tourist, you could help us build a friendlier holiday destination; as a citizen, please help to protect Singapore's image as a tourist-friendly country. If taxi toutings on the streets are not eradicated, these money-faced cabbies are going to make their presence more visible at Changi Airport (Hopefully, there aren't any there now).

My last advice to tourists: always ensure that the taxi meters are on. Know what are the standard fares. Do your math. If you suspect that you have been conned, ask for a taxi receipt when you pay. With that receipt, report to LTA. Dont let these drivers take you for a ride just because you are a tourist. Don't let them cheat the money that you could use to buy something else with. You're on a holiday.

* bua-ya - a Malay word to mean crocodile. In this context, it refers to people who prey on others.

Goodbye, Curious George's Writer - Alan Shalleck

Alan J. Shalleck

November 14, 1929 - February 6, 2006

Justice was served on 19 October, 2007. One of Shalleck's killer, Rex Ditto, 31 has pleaded guilty to first-degree murder and robbery with weapon. His accomplice and gay lover, Vincent Puglisi, 56 is scheduled for trial early next year.

Bananation pays tribute to Alan J. Shalleck, co-writer of the cartoon, Curious George, the mischievious monkey who had animated the kids' world since the 1980s. With his success of the televlsion series (about 100 short episodes) on Disney Channel, he and Curious George's creator, Margret Rey, colloborated on a series of book squeals. In Singapore, Curious George was not a known cartoon character in the 1980s.

Born in Westchester County, NY, Shalleck's career in children's entertainment dated back to 1950 when he joined CBS and worked in its mailroom. A drama major from Syracuse University, he rose to become an associate producer for 'Winky Dink and You', a morning kid show which ran from 1953 to 1957. After producing numerous children's films, he formed his company and the rest are history. However, he closed down his New York production company and worked as a children story teller at the Boynton Beach Borders bookstore, Florida in the early 1990s. He formed a new company, Reading By GRAMPS, and appeared publicly at book stores and local events. He also tutored, mentored and conducted workshops on improving reading skills for kids. A man with a goal to excite children in reading, his death is a loss to the future of our kids.

Shalleck, 76 was brutally stabbed 80 times at the abodmen, neck and groin. His body was found under a pile of trash in the front yard of his impeccably landscaped mobile home at Boynton Beach. Neighbors had seen his murderers, Ditto and Vincent visiting, and police claimed that their acquaintance was through a sex club. However, Ditto claimed that Shalleck engaged his carpet cleaning service from a newspaper advertisment. Now, who's telling the truth about how they met?


Ditto's side of his story began like this: His attorny advised him to plead guilty (although he calimed that he didn't do it) and take a life sentence without the chance of parole. He intended to fire his attorney and defend himself but the judge advised against the idea in view of his mental incompetency. Ditto (inset: left) struggled with mental illness since the age of 18. He met Vincent (inset: right) in January; the relationship was short yet dramatic. Vincent initiated the breakup but returned with a pair of sneakers and a watch to win Ditto's heart. Apparently, both items became the evidences that police used against Ditto. He alleged that he was framed because Vincent knew he had a criminal record. Currently locked up in prison, Ditto passed his time studying his case. He sold his lunch to fellow inmate to buy a stamped envelope to mail a letter to the judge requesting for permission to defend himself. Maybe mental experts can save me the time of googling and enlighten me if the ability to think rationally remains in the subconscious mind of the insane?

So far, there isn't any wacko-jacko alike accusation towards Shalleck for his association with children. The divorced man maybe living a secret gay life, but he had brought 50 years of joy to generation and generation of children. I am not sure if our local papers reported this case. If they do and parents learned that shalleck was gay, I hope they would not boycott Curious George at Borders or worst, throw away what titles their kids already have. Like the late writer, the stories are innocent: let our kids continue to be curious with George.
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Curious George's official site

Curious George's movie trailer

Curious George's soundtrack - performed by Jack Johnson

A comphrensive report from PalmBeachPost.com - including detailed story of Ditto.

Expectations Fuel Disappointment

Think about the last time you were disappointed.

Was it because you did not get promoted? The painting you wished to buy had been sold, or just that it was raining when you wanted to go out for a picnic? Whatever the occasion is, I suggest that the disappointment was caused because you had an unfulfilled expectation. From the above examples, your expectations may have been: I am the best person for the job; that painting was meant for me; I want fine weather when I picnic.

I believe this an important concept for us to understand. Once we understand it and manage our expectations, day to day living will be less stressful. We can channel the otherwise energy wasted on stress into more productive activities. But is it so simple?

We are more resilient it seems when we have expectations about things which we have little or no control over. So we soon recover from the rainy day. We may complain about the rain but we move on and do something else. As a result, we enjoy a new experience such as a picnic in the rain but protected by umbrellas. I am sure you can think of many situations where you were disappointed for a short while but they soon passed and you moved on to something different. Can you, however, think of two similar events where at one time your disappointment passed quickly yet on the other it did not? Why is this so?

I don’t think there is a simple answer to this. Our mood, the situation details, the people involved, the strength of our expectation and many other external factors could influence any particular situation. For example, I was to take a loved one on the picnic as they never get out of their home but couldn’t because of the rain. Emotionally for me and my loved one, this is important and hence my disappointment is high. This could be impacted by a feeling that I let the other person down.

I think the biggest disappointment arises when it involves us individually. Not getting a promotion when you are convinced that you deserve it often takes a long time to get over. I know people who carry this scar for years and it impedes their quest for a fulfilling and enjoyable life. Some reasons for this maybe we have looked at others and made comparisons, or we may look at our contribution to the sections success, or we may believe that we are a potential leader, or perhaps we have been thinking about it so much we convince ourselves our blemishes are minor and our strengths are overwhelming. Why is this disappointment so big?

I think it is our natural bias that fuels an unrealistic expectation. When we compare our performance to that of others, we are doing so knowing all the details of what we have done and weighting these favorably to fuel our expectation. On the other hand, we do not know all the details of what the other person has done and we may undervalue some aspects of their work or contribution. We may also unfavorably weight their performance characteristics. The more we think - utilizing this approach - the stronger our expectation of promotion grows and the greater the disappointment if it is not realized. Expectations can be reasonable, achievable and logical but may not be met due to other factors out of your control. They also maybe unreasonable, unachievable and illogical and are destroyed by factors totally in your control. So what can you do to limit the disappointment caused by not meeting your expectations?

I think you must understand that you can have dreams and targets and these, in themselves, do not fuel expectations. It is the inflexible, over optimistic and often poorly founded actions and plans to achieve your dreams that cause the disappointment. Remember, there are many ways to achieve our dreams. The path is neither clear nor will it remain fixed for any length of time. We must always look at alternative pathways and choose one of these at a point in time. But we have to understand that this will change. We are faced with continuous changes in all aspects of our daily life, so why should we think that the pathway we choose today to achieve our goals will not need to be adjusted or even abandoned tomorrow? Ho-hum you say. Well try managing expectations by having a focus on our dream, our goals and looking at the many ways we can achieve them. There are options and they are changing, and every door that closes on your journey opens up many more. Our challenge is to look for these opportunities and to be able to adjust to take advantage of them.

I am not saying to stop planning the steps you need to take to achieve your goal but think broadly about what you are trying to achieve with each step, and what options you have if things change. I believe by doing this, the rigidity in our plans is loosened and our ability to adapt to the changing circumstances is increased. If we do this and what we had thought might happen on the course we have chosen does not eventuate, we don’t feel disappointment, failure, disaster but instead look at what are the other ways to continue going towards our goal. Having an expectation only means that we will be challenged in the achievement of our goals, and that we are ready to adjust with the confidence that we will still achieve our goals.

Contributed by maipenrai, Sydney

Also by maipenrai:

• The Traffic Signal

Is Britney Spears Insane or Justin Timberlake too Vain?

If there is one reason that people are buying the October issue of Star Magazine (inset above), it must be the shocking photo of a ballooned Britney Spears on its cover. I couldn't believe my eyes that a bespectacled woman with a triple chin and a bulging belly is the sexy vixen who was once a toxic in the man's world. She looks like a 40-year old woman who hasn't slept and washed her hair for days. What's wrong with her? From shedding her goldie-lock to become Demi Moore in G.I. Jane to Rosie O'Donnell, is this woman insane or just thirsty for media attention? (see caricatures).

Source: illustrations from galleryoftheabsurb.com

If you could remember the baby one more time, she was the sweet little girl from the Disney Channel's New Mickey Mouse Club. What could have driven the ex-sex goddess to abandon a body that every woman dreams of and every straight man desires, to become a deranged woman who has forgotton all about social decorum and her celebrity image? Her failed marriage with publicly acclaimed gold-digger, Kevin Federline, or her overwhelming popularity?

Her fellow mouseketter, Justin Timberlake, on the contrary showed off his six-pack abs and defined pecs when he took off his shirt at the end of his FutureSex/LoveShow tour recently at Sacramento. His body just gets better while Britney's deteriorates by the days. In a world where beauty is the language of women, shouldn't Britney still looks as hot as she was before? I have never heard a male sex icon in Hollywood today who would allow himself to disintegrate in the way Britney did. Well, Maybe males celebrities manage their private life better than the female celebrities. Even when the former's appearance went into a drastic change, the man has a statement to make. Marlon Brando turned himself fat so that Hollywood would take him seriously as an actor and not just for his pretty face.

I know Justin will continue to work out at the gym and surprise the media with a hotter body. As for Britney, she can't be any worst, can she?

Give me the Green Card but Spare me the Gun

Another young man snapped and took law in his own hand. 20-year old, Tyler Peterson (inset: left) stormed into a Duplex in Crandon, North Wisconsin and killed 6 teenagers in a rampant shooting. This happened on Sunday - a day after my friends had advised me against relocation to the U.S. Their reason being the Land of Freedom is unsafe.

A failed attempt to reconcile with his old girlfriend invited mockery from guests who were present at that house for a pizza party during the school's reunion weekend. He was called a "worthless pig." This enraged Peterson to retrieve the AR-15 rifle from his car outside and marched into the house firing 30 rounds that killed everyone except one who is critically injured. Hours later, he was found dead after fleeing the crime scene when the Swat team nailed him. Whether he shot himself or died in an exchange of gunfire with the armed police, the authority is not revealing yet. Peterson's killing raised many eyebrows: how could a sheriff's deputy and a part-time police officer possibly commit such heinous crime? Who could have guessed that a 'non-trouble maker' as his good friend described him would become a bersek gunman? Can you tell from his photo that the cherubic face smiling at you is capable of killing? I can't. News leaked that apparently he did not undergo psychological screening piror to his acceptance as a law enforcement officer.

This brings me back to my friends' comment. In a country where gun control is luke warm, It is better to get a good insurance scheme than to worry when will I be gunned down. According to handgunlaw.us, most States allow gun ownership provided that the applicants satisfy the minimum age requirement of which varies from States to States (inset: left). Most States require the applicants to be at least 18 or 21; only Missouri has the exception - 23.

The Wisconsin's tragedy is the 2nd rampant shooting after the VirginiaTech massacre on April 16, 2007. 23-year old Korean, Seung-Hui Cho killed 33 people at the campus before shooting himself. This marked one of the deadliest school shooting in U.S. history. The minimum age to apply for Carrying Concealed Weapons (CCW) for private citizens in Virginia is 21 which Cho is eligible for. Although Wisconsin is denied the right to CCW, Peterson, is however, a qualified law enforcement officer. Sadly the case.

Reported by Reuters and quoted sources from National Rifle Association (NRA), an estimated 34 percent of the citizens in the United States owns firearms and 200 million firearms are in private hands. Considering that private resales of guns is largely unregulated and that the U.S. popluation to be 300 million, it is highly possible that in the most densely populated State such as New Jersey, 6 households out of 10 are likely to own a gun.

Singapore has no history of rampant shootings. Primarily, possession of firearms by citizens is a criminal offence that warrants caning and imprisonment. The terrors that struck the heartland so far were cases of soldiers who went missing with rifles and bullets. The first case was in 1984 and another happened recently last month. Singaporeans at large are either too tame or too sane to commit massacre. I can safely generalise that 99.9 percent of the population is capable of shooting from water guns; the 0.01 percent may be potential gunmen but they have a 99.9 percent chance of not finding a gun in the first place. So what's my take - Singapore or U.S?

Give me the Green Card but spare me the gun.

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Wisconsin gunman Tyler Peterson 'snapped over rebuff by ex-girlfriend' - Times Online


Bananation Condolences to the families and vicitim of Virginia Tech Massacre.

Should Gay Christians turn Straight in the name of God? Wisdom from Queer As Folk

If you are a gay Christian and are unable to reconcile your faith with your sexual orientation, I've got something to share from the long-running series "Queer As Folk".

Ted Schmidt (inset:left) bumped into a man at the pharmacy whom he had casual sex with. That guy bought a HIV related drug. Ted fearing that he might be infected went for a HIV blood test. His best pal, Emment Honeycutt (inset:below) accompanied him and did the blood test too.

Days later, Ted received a call from the hosiptal saying that he was fine. However, Emment received a call to revisit the hospital. Emment was afraid that he might be HIV+. He promised God that if he was fine, he would turn straight. That was a big deal to someone who was the Queen of the gay city. To cut the witty details, Emment turned out to be fine and he fulfilled his promise to God. He joined See The Light, a group of gays and lesbians who envisioned to be straight. Emment was so involved in coming-out-of-the dark (thanks to Gloria Estefan) that he cut himself out from the gay world, including alienating his best friend, Ted. Since Emment would not go to Ted, Ted visited Emment at the group gathering with their mutual friend, Michael. The scene was emotionally charged. Ted tried to salvage the friendship and this is an extract of what he told Emment:

"And I think God appreciates it as much as you do. We want to let you know that we still love you...maybe not as much as Jesus but almost. And that we're going to miss you. Oh, I think God appreciates it even more 'cause he created you in His image. At least that's what I was always taught. And since God is love, and God doesn't make mistakes, then, you must be exactly the way He wants you to be, the way He intended you to be"

How much more do Christians need to know that being gay is not a mistake? The orthodox churches are going to burn me on the stake for tarnishing God's image. My brethen brothers, are going to say that yes, God makes no mistakes but homosexuality is a seed planted by Satan in the human's body.

By its anti-procreation element, the gay world is perceived to be against God's commandment. I dislike reading the Bible like the way theologians do. Faith is not a subject that can be mastered. Since God is wise and we are created in His image, we have all the wisdom within us to understand what He had truly said. Man's words are deceitful (and by the same note, I can be deceiving if you think I am).

Ever tell yourself that God wants us to be happy? We are His Children and He is our Heavenly Father. Living in denial and guilt about who we are neither make us nor God happy. I had tried to become straight in the past. Of course it didn't work. How dare I alter God's creation! My mind is programmed to desire men and so be it. What Ted said was a simple concept to understand. If we think that he is devil-sent, his words are blasphemous; otherwise, heaven must be missing an angel. Don't think too hard. Because when God's tell us something, He makes sure it's simple enough for us to understand. So if we feel that being gay chained us down and demoralised our life, open our hearts and listen carefully - for God is singing to the Gay Nation: "don't worry, be happy."

Reply to Sumiko Tan's Column - A Woman needs a Man

A Gay man needs a Man

I've come to the realistation that a woman isn't complete unless she has a partner. So said Sumiko Tan in her Sunday column "A Woman needs a Man" (ST, 9 Sep 07). With a headline like that, It beats me how many single women have protested to the Straits Times.

I enjoy her writings. Being 43 and single, she becomes an empty vessal at times and hence can't stop whining - the writer's PMS I call it. I can empathise with her plight because I am 34 and technically single here. I whined too in my blog. I applaud her bravey in attesting the wholeness of womanhood can only exist if she has a man in her life. I second her ideology. If you don't know me, you would probably deduce that I'm a woman. The air is clear now, except that I am a gay man. To sing her tune, I decided to plagiarise her story. I never thought I'd say this, but here goes: A gay man needs a man to be complete (this sentence is originally from her column; I just replace 'a woman' with 'a gay man').

Try telling me that before I hit the big 30. My attitude would be non-hastening. I was unrealistic in my quest for a soul mate. I believe that fate would bring Mr Right to my door. Can you believe that my straight friends tried to cajole me into visiting gay pubs? They were against the idea of me doing nothing and wishfully thinking that I would bump into Mr Right on the streets or in the subways. When my biological clock ticked-tocked by the years, I realised that the Hollywood version of One Fine Day hardly happened in reality. I didn't get to meet George Clooney. Michelle Pieffer, that lucky bitch!

So I moved my ass. But I did not visit any gay pubs because I don't see how I could find my soul mate in a den of one night standers (Ok, I invented that word). I traveled to the cyberspace and took a tour of the myriad of gay match-making sites. Since then, I met a lot of gay men but was dumped in the most absurb manner. A series of misfortunate events turned me into anti-relationship. I retreated to my cocoon and fucked all the lovey-dovey things out of my life. I was self-sufficient and don't need a man to make my life enjoyable. After a year, I was proven wrong. I got a mail - not from Tom Hank - but from a 46-year old American. If I were to express the way I felt with him, I would sing him the song 'You Raised me Up' (sans the spiritual connotation). He is the oldest man I have dated so far and the longest relationship I ever have.

If you recall earlier on I wrote that I am technically single here, I meant I am attached but my boyfriend isn't with me. He hasn't been with me since the start of our relationship 3 years ago. To meet one another, we have to take an 18-hour flight between Singapore and the U.S. Friends have been asking why the hell we are still not living together? It is a question that I asked myself. The question mark becomes bigger as I see all the local women and gay men with their white partners. I feel envious, uncertain and sad. I brought up the issue of relocating in our first year but he said he wanted to take it slow. And it has been really slow. He changed his job this year and I feel that the more I should be more understanding.

Surely, Sumiko was not talking about my kind of relationship. To many, a couple who sees each other less than 3 times a year is not a relationship and even if it is, it ain't healthy. That was exactly what my friends commented. I, however, think otherwise. Except the distance, I see my relationship the same as others: we communicate, we sent presents on birthdays, Valentine's Day and Christmas, we visit each other and we travel to other destinations for holidays. Most importantly, we don't cheat. All my friends questioned me how could I be so sure if he is not fooling around - he is afterall in the U.S. The beauty of our long distance relationship had taught me how to trust and have faith in a boyfriend, and therefore, doubts never cross my mind. The thought of someone so far away is thinking of me warms my heart. You can call me nuts and I don't blame you. Nobody thinks like me. I suppose you could wonder If I'm desperate for a relationship since I am willing to endure the pain of separation for 3 years. Why have a boyfriend thousands of miles away and there is no companionship and fulfilment to talk about (not dimssing physical intimacy). Can't I stop harping on relationship and thinking that men are the Oxygen that keeps me alive? The singletons can argue that without a boyfriend, we can still get enjoy life with friends but surely we know that the kind of love we experience with the latter is different. The amount of communications and the kind of things we do with our boyfriend is what the limitation of friendship cannot offer. Such attention and devotion can never be received from your soccer kakis, party animal friends or even your pet. And when it comes to getting a gift for that special guy, you will know whether he is more than a laughter and a martini at the bar. Ok, how about family? Like Sumiko wrote:

"But, oh, who are we kidding? Let's be honest. Nothing beats the frisson of
commanding the time and attention of someone from the opposite sex whom you
fancy and who fancies you. After all, humans are hardwired to mate"

If you rather find solace in singlehood, you have probably never fallen in love before or got dumped as frequently as we piss.

Recently, my relationship has been on the brim of death. There isn't any quarrel. If women have intuition, men have it too. Somehow, I feel that I could have lost my boyfriend. I have never stopped loving him but again, if there was once a right time that we met, then perhaps, there will be a right time to part our ways too. Even if this relationship breaks, I will not stop finding another man to fall in love with again. Every man is a different story and its outcome will be different too. To resign my life to whining in the cyberspace, I rather fall, pick it up from there and move on no matter how many times it will take me.

There will be a man who will watch the sunset with me as I grow old. And yes, I need a man in my life. Oh, and who said Michelle Pieffer is the only lucky bitch to have met George Clooney.

George Clooney and I in London, 2004