Bananation

What is True Beauty?


"I am beautiful no matter what they say, words can't bring me down."

When Christina Aguilera sang this song, it became an anthem for an ulgy nation with a low self-esteem. One gay friend of mine who is unattractive told me that this was his favorite song and he quoted the above lyrics, calling it the true spirit of the song. Does it really make the ugly community feel better with songs, movies, TV shows or books which advocate that inner beauty matters the most? Or it is a whirl of self-deception that goes in circle like a merry-go-round?

The media is best at playing the game of beauty versus ugliness, and most people are susceptible to their influence. I remember that I tried to imitate the Top Gun hairstyle in the 80's. I overlooked the fact that I do not have a Tom Cruise's face and body. Having a replica hairdo doesn't turn me into a drop dead gorgeous hunk like Tom. Women who see walking sticks on the runways as beautiful are oblivious to what men think of their flat chests and defined ribcage. They morph into living skeletons without realising that they have done more damage to their beauty and health.

Last Sunday, 'Ugly Betty' debuted on TV after much anticipation. The protagonist, Betty Suarez, is unattractive but she has all the qualities that the beauties lack: a zeal for her dream, a great work attitude and pretty smart. In most circumstance, the pretty one gets the job. But Betty got hers because she wasn't pretty. She was handpicked by the Founder of the fashion magazine, Mode, to prevent his son, the handsome Editor-in-Chief, Daniel Meade from womanising with his PA. In other word, her lack of sexual appeal outsold her capability. Like any story with a 'ugly vs pretty' theme, Betty emerged as a woman of substance that even Daniel had to overlook her sparkling braces, bushy eyebrows and awful glasses. God is fair but that's beside the point. In a world where pretty or handsome is associated with an attractive appearance, where does true beauty stand?

True beauty stands in the eye of the beholder and the person concerned. To be truly beautiful, we have to first acknowledge our unattractiveness and say to ourselves: "I'm not pretty, so what?". I'm not suggesting over confidence to the extent of dressing inappropriately (if you know what I mean) or not dressing up at all. What I meant is move on. We are not born to this world just to look pretty. My bestfriend stereotyped that most unattractive gals have kind hearts. It is hard to disagree with him. His ex-girlfriend is one sweet soul and so is Betty. If the pattern is observed in Singapore and New York, the world should come to the same consensus too.

Daily, we are facing interviews of a different kind in our society. As long as humans live, we all judge and are judged. Like in a job interview, we keep selling our best quality and we achieve that by identifying our USP (Unique Selling Proposition). When an unattractive person searches within, he/she can only find personality and ability that will make them shine. A good personality is competitive: Whether one is pretty or not, nobody will want to be an asshole because it gets them nowhere. So the person is left with ability as the USP. The second step is hence to build on those strenghts. When an ugly duckling catches fish better than a kingfisher, it will forget for a day that it is ugly. The more fish it catches each day, it will bite you if you won't stop calling it 'ugly duckling'. "I'm a swan, mind you!". When we become so good at what we are doing, we look stunning in our power suit. Trust me, it works! In a different context, the heartbrokens are singing "I'm strong enough to live without you, strong enough and I quit crying" from Cher when they releash the power within. It's all about finding back the confidence.

Interestingly, there aren't any shows that are produced with the intention to turn actors into an ugly lead casts for the sake of TV ratings. If reality show 'Beauty and the Geek' count. Generally, actors are cast as chuckleheads because people love to laugh at men's silliness rather than their ugliness on TV. Perhaps, MediaCorpTV should consider making a Singapore verision of 'Ugly Betty' but a male version. I will make the the best lead - 'Ugly Tony'.

In real life, unattractive men, like Betty, are not spared from rejection. Last week, I saw him again in my neighborhood - the young man with one side of his body burned, from the face down to his arm. He is always seen with a cap. He was interviewed in the newspaper about 2 years ago. He was turned down by several employers despite having a Polytechnic Diploma. His act of stepping out and coming face-to-face with the nation is truly courageous. I hope he has a job now. If not, I say to all employers: this man deserves a job not out of your sympathy but through his qualification. And by the way, he is looking for an office job, not as a model or actor, duh!

Whether you are Betty or the guy in my neighborhood, do not belittle yourself. Put on your power suit and you are ready to kick some ass. Try this for a warm up. When you step into an elevator, don't shy away from your reflection. Look up, stare at yourself, smile and sing in your head:

"I am beautiful because I know it is, (the) world can't bring me down."

Practice makes perfect.