Kelly and I will stay in touch. We believe that there is a reason for me to stumble onto Alex's journal. Alex and I can never be friends on this earth; but we will be eternal friends in heaven one day - just like the words engraved on Alex's bench quoted from the song 'With Hope' by Steven Curtis Chapman:
"There's a place by God's grace where we'll see your face again."
Play this song now.
Meanwhile, I will write to Alex and Kelly has agreed to bring my letters to him. This may sound absurd to many but this is the only way for me to build a friendship with Alex before I see him in heaven.
Tears for a Stranger
Read the caption of the above photo and you will know who I shed my tears for this afternoon.
I spent 3 hours reading Alex's journal written by his mum, Kelly from August 29, 2005 to May 21, 2006. My heart was heavy as I followed the chronicle of a promising, young man fighting a battle against brain tumor. I was so engrossed reading that I was not aware that my mum was in my room. She asked: "did you just cry?". I did not answer but just showed her Alex's journal. She comforted me that death is a passage of life and left my room. She knows her son enough not to discourage me from crying. I come from a family that it is ok for guy to shed tears.
I continued to read the journal and when I was at the year 2006, my eyes were watery again. Like Kelly, my emotion was a rollercoaster ride. I rose with her hope and fell with her when she was lost. All parents will understand how Kelly had felt when Alex was in pain due to the side effects of treatment; she would so much wish that she could take his place. I was frustrated when the medical experts from different instituitions whom she depended on for her son's survival were providing various assessments on Alex's treatment. In the end, she had to do her own research online about brain tumor and its treatment and assessed herself if the medical advices were the best for Alex. She learned not to entrust her son's fate to the experts' hands completely. I am comforted that Kelly was not alone in the battle to combat her son's cancer. Alex's stepfather was doing an awesome part as a parent and a husband. He is a noble man.
When I read the journal on April 8, 2006, tears rolled down my cheek. The doctors broke the bad news to Kelly that Alex only had a week or more to live. When I saw the feeble and wheelbound Alex in the family photo posted on April 13, 2006, I hope I was there to give him a big hug. I wondered what I did on April 15, 2006 - my birthday when Alex was fighting to live? For him, there will not be another April 15...
On May 21, 2006, Alex passed away. He was only 23. Although Alex is a stranger to me, I felt that I have lost a brother. I felt that I had known him like a person from his journal. I felt I was there with him during his living days. He will be fondly remembered by me in the days to come.
Alex's Journal (The server of the website is down as of July 14, 2007)
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