Why Nobody Bothers to Return Things they Borrowed

I was spring-cleaning my room yesterday for Chinese New Year and found several things that I used to own but are nowhere on my shelf now. I am sure that I did not donate them to Salvation Army nor did I discard them last year. These are DVDs, CDs and books that I am talking about.

When did you last realise that some of your stuffs are missing? Worst. You can't remember where they went to. I don't even recall I lent what to who and when. The question is: if I have forgotten, why didn't the people whom I lent to remember? Why are people oblivious to the items that don't belong to them but have been in their house for months or even years? These are what the lenders have to say about their borrowers:

"They are hoping that you will forget and they get to keep those things."

"They still need them."

"They like those things but can't afford them."

"They may need to use it in future and do not wish to borrow so many times."

"They keep forgetting to return and after so long, they are embarrassed to return them."

"They lost them."

I was once a Korean dramaniac that I bought some serial boxsets and borrowed some at the same time from friends. At the pace I was watching, I ended up not having time to watch those that I have borrowed. I thought I would have time to watch them in future and hence did not return them even they have been lying around in my room for months. However, I did return them many months later and embarrassingly, I admitted that I didn't watch them. They offered to let me hold on to them till I have the time. I declined. I know I will never watch them because my enthusiasm has dissipated and is replaced by new shows. Although I returned things eventually, in the mind of the lender, I might be just another sucker.

When we borrow things or money from others, we must return them on time if we promise a date. If not, we have to fix a reasonable time frame for holding on to the item(s). When an item takes a longer time to consume ex. a book, we need to prioritse to read the book we borrowed first and not to read the new release that we have just bought.

Generally, I don't mind people not returning things to me if possession of them is not important anymore. I will remind my friends to return certain DVDs, CDs or books that mean something to me. I will never have to worry about money lending issue because I don't have much disposable cash and all my close friends are richer than me. Even if I have half of Bill Gate's fortune, I will not willfully lend my money to any Tom, Dick or Harry who are tagged as 'friends', a term loosely used nowaday. If we only return things after our lenders chase after us, it is a shame! It is not the responsibility of the lenders to remind us but our duty to return things to their rightful owner after use.

If you have a lot of uncollected 'loans', you may want to start excercising your right to claim them back, or practise my style of labelling some items as 'strictly not for loan' (even to my bestfriend.)